When you start being able to see yourself & things related to you from a third person's point of view, you know something's quite wrong. It's scary, that when you're expected to be supportive & give one-sided views you realize that you can't, all you can is to be freakishly objective & analyse the situation like you're reading it off a literature text. Like your life don't exist and everything that's happening around you is just a story in which you see, learn, and then from those, see & learn some more in the next chapter. You begin to understand human beings so well, see right through their thoughts & actions and realize you don't feel like one because you know so much. And being able to just live with single-digit number of people in your life & being all fine with it just shows how detatched you can be from the world. How you can feel nothing when your man laments to you about the girl he loved but couldn't get. How you can feel happy because you know others are having a good time even though you're half stuck in hell. How sweet words & acts of affection bounce right off you, while you smile more out of mockery than of appreciation.
I've come to realize that I'm terrible at expressing myself in words, like through typing. Maybe that's why I've never liked blogging. And since I've got no self-assumed obligation to report about my life to the world, I can just leave this place to rot again, until I need a place to (try to) rant about things next time. Till then.
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